It may sound dramatic, but I know what I'm experiencing.
In hindsight, I could have researched safe and effective methods of coming off medication rather than opting for the cold turkey approach. But I am here now, and the decision has been made.
My body feels very weak. I have little to no appetite and rather unpleasant diarreah. I've got no desire to take on fluids but I'm ensuring I do, to be safe.
I've got a strange 'tugging' or pulling sensation inside my head. That is the best way I can explain it - a literal feeling of something being pulled inside my head. This could be down to many things; hydration, lack of calories, lack of sleep or a direct consequence of the withdrawal.
I can't maintain a steady temperature. I'm either very hot or very cold. Feels like a fever. Makes for very uncomfortable living in this season when it's freezing outside and you have to keep the house warm.
When I'm able to sleep, my dreams are vivid and intense. Often leading to me waking up in panic. It's really not nice and the subject matter of the dream often leaves me feeling anxious or stressed the next day.
Typically, in the morning, I feel very manic and anxious. I personally feel that this is because that side of my make up has been suppressed by the medication for the last year and it's coming back with a vengeance. I'll monitor this and I'm aware of the implications if this runs ahead of me - impulsive behavior etc. I am able to combat the mania with a microdose of THC; it doesn't reduce it completely but it absolutely slows it down.
I've lost considerable weight since stopping the medication. To some degree this is welcomed but I also worry about a rebound once things calm down and my appetite returns. I weighed myself this morning and the scales tell me I've lost in the region of a stone in the last week - very drastic.
Overall I feel that my body and mind is going through one massive detox. It feels like a very nasty flu.
Part of the process I suppose.
S.