I know that by now it probably seems as though I'm seeking justification to go down my own path. Maybe I am? It's quite a daunting time.
Medication changed me. Now I understand that to a degree, that's the point. But let me explain to you;
My personality is gone. I'm no longer a people person. I'm introverted. I'm quite angry towards the world.
I'm lazy. I've gone from a healthy, athletic lifestyle to little to no exercise. Mundane tasks like navigating the stairs can cause me to go out of breath. The weight gain has been spectacular; this in turn knocks my confidence and that can send me on a spiral.
I've got no sex drive. I've never had issues in this way. Never.
I've pushed a lot of people away. My friendship circle has grown smaller, significantly.
I've got no relationship with God. Faith has always been important to me. I've not read my bible in almost a year.
I can't sleep without taking Promethazine and Diazepam; well, until recently when it all stopped.
I still get the mood swings, I still experience massive bouts of severe depression, I still have crippling anxiety and suicidal thoughts. So I ask you, what's the point in the medication?